Straight Elite Male Companions For Women
As we begin to wrap up Summer, it’s natural to reminisce and think about the wonderful adventures. Often our amazing memories also have songs attached to them. One of the top songs this Summer was DNCE’s debut song “Cake By The Ocean.”
The song is on the radio constantly, and why not. It’s entirely catchy, completely dance-worthy, but admittedly, a bit confusing. Cake by the ocean? What does that even mean? I mean, we all love cake (unless you’re one of those silly people who doesn’t like sweets). And the ocean is a great place to be – relaxing, warm, filled with sunshine – and frequently cited as a favorite “happy place.” But combining the two seems a bit unusual, and not very tasty if you get sand on your cake.
We’ll let you in on a little secret. It turns out the song has slightly less family-friendly origins and was really about something much sexier than desserts by the sea. Say it isn’t so!
The band told MTV that “Working on the record, these Swedish producers we were working with kept confusing ’sex on the beach’ with ’cake by the ocean,’ so that’s how the song started. Then, it became this kind of lyrically wacky song that’s funky, fresh, and something that people can dance to.”
Well that makes sense! Now it is infinitely easier to see how the lyrics could read a bit suggestive, and the metaphors in the song’s lyrics now make a whole lot more sense:
Talk to me, baby
I’m going to miss this sweet craving, whoa-oh
Let’s lose our minds and go f*cking crazy
I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hoping we’ll eat cake by the ocean
So the hit song of the Summer is really about something that many people have as a fantasy of theirs. Cool! But is sex on the beach really all that it’s cracked up to be? Or is it more like the concept of eating cake by the ocean, and causes you to pause just a bit?
Well, if you are thinking about (ahem) having your cake and eating it too, be ready to meet with some difficulties. The concept of sex on the beach is very romantic. It fills you with strong emotions and seems very desirable (and a little naughty), but there are some important facts to consider before diving into that icing on the cake.
- Sand is not as friendly as you think. It`s irritating, really irritating. In every sense of the word, «irritating». Think grit in sensitive places and apply appropriate caution.
- Small creatures. I mean sea bacteria, bugs, jelly-fish and so on. They can be dangerous for your sensitive areas. Keep away from critters.
- Sea water. Salt tends to dry skin. Your delicate parts will suffer too. And water can wash out your natural lubrication. Add dry to grit, and you see where this is going.
- People usually wait for darkness to have sex at night, especially when getting it on in public places. Darkness helps to keep your seaside sexy time on the DL, and one positive is the darkness dulls your vision and heightens other sensations, like touch. But the dark can come with some pitfalls. Unfortunately, beaches can be full of sharp stuff you can’t see in the dark. Avoid broken bottles and other sharp stuff.
- Condom issues. If you are not afraid of pregnancy, skip this one. Water can cause a condom to slip down. Having your adventure in a pool rather than the beach? A condom is essentially useless in pool water, full of chemicals. It can dissolve in water or just tear.
- Infectious agents are everywhere. To be entirely honest, sex on the beach can be risky. Sand is not sterile, leaving a potential for diseases.
- Police don’t generally approve of public coitus. If some visitor to the beach notices something amiss, they may call the police. Just imagine you, naked and walking through a police station, with just a blue coat covering you. Hope the fine was worth it! Look for big rocks or other blockades (sand dunes, beach shacks, etc.) that could keep you and your guy out of sight.
- Forget about trying some new positions. The beach is not the best place for these tricks. If you are brave enough to try cake by the ocean, stick to simple, but tried-and-true positions.
- Sex on the beach is the fastest sex of all. You’re covered with wet, nasty sand, and worried about infection, critters and getting caught. Being naughty and the risk of getting caught can make it exciting, but do you really have time to think about feelings and to derive true pleasure from the act? Beach love can be very… machine-like.
Hey we’re not here to tell you what to do or not to do. Everyone loves a little sugar now and again. Just be safe about it! Who wants cake?!
Straight Elite Male Companions for Women