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Recently an article was published in The Washington Post noting that men really need to stop calling women “crazy.” This adjective is predominantly applied to women in a way that is meant to demean or undermine them, and it’s just not acceptable.

Typically when a man is going through a traumatic time, it’s said that he’s “going through something,” or “acting a bit emotional,” but not “crazy.” No, “crazy” is typically held in reserve for women’s behavior. Men don’t get called “crazy” — at least not the way women are reflexively labeled as such.

According to the author, “crazy” is a word guys use to shame women into compliance. It’s a form of telling women that their feelings are just wrong, that they don’t have the right to feel the way that they do. Minimizing someone’s feelings is basically a way of controlling them. If they no longer trust their own feelings and instincts, they come to rely on someone else to tell them how they’re supposed to feel.

This is actually one of two double-standard terms that needs to be addressed. If guys have “crazy” as a fall back term, ladies, you have your own term – calling men “dicks.” Just as it’s not acceptable for men to use a label when referring to women, it’s no better for women to reduce men to a physical body part when they act like a jerk. It is far more productive to hold them responsible for how they treat others.

These two terms, “crazy” and “dick,” typically come up when there is a break-up involved. Imagine your best friend parting ways with her long-term boyfriend. You’re sitting there over drinks and she is complaining how things ended poorly. An easy go-to would be to say, “He sounds like a real dick. You deserve better,” and move on.

It’s easy to simply explain away relationship breakdowns by calling the other person “crazy” or a “dick.” But both are incredibly offensive, have no business in the lexicon of love, and they derail the discussion away from addressing what the real issues are.

Since we brought up the issue, we will also offer a potential solution. Without further ado, here are some alternate ways you can describe that ex:

  • Emotionally unavailable
  • Unkind
  • Distant
  • At a different point in their life than you are
  • Manipulative
  • A horrible communicator
  • Not ready to be in a serious relationship
  • Not the one for you

All of these terms are far more descriptive than calling someone a name. They actually describe one aspect of the problem at hand, and looking at that problem directly is going to help you much more in the long-term than glossing over it with a catchy derogatory phrase. Let’s not reduce our complicated emotional framework to negative labels and instead treat each other with some kindness.

Here is another potential solution for you. If you find yourself single, instead of rehashing the past and thinking about why things didn’t work out, spend some time with one of our gentlemen and recharge yourself for the future. Our men will always treat you with respect, admiration, and kindness.  And because there is no relationship pressure, you won’t have to overthink things; you can just be in the moment. Wouldn’t that be nice for a change?

 

Straight Elite Male Companions for Women